Welcome back to The Joke's Ennui. If you have been missing these jokes, welcome back! If you are just discovering them, I hope you come back and bring a friend (who likes jokes, of course).
Back-to-School Groaners
Why do kids not always get what they want from their parents when shopping for back-to-school stuff? Parents have to deal with school supply-side economics.
And teachers don't have it so great before the students return. They have to organize and decorate their classrooms, attend lots of meetings, and start counting the days before the school year is over.
Any parent who has ever gone to one knows why they call them school "bored" meetings.
School for Beginners
School Bus Driver: A person who thinks it is a good idea to get up early to drive screaming kids to school.
Parent: A person who thinks it is a good idea to get up early to wake up kids so someone else can drive screaming kids to school.
Teacher: A person who is a gluton for punishment and also knows what those words mean and whether they will be on the test.
Sports Coach: A teacher who has to stay after school a lot.
School Janitor: A person who has seen a lot of bad stuff go down, and sometimes come back up.
School Cafeteria: a multi-purpose room where kids can get fed, bled, and misled.
Gym: A place where some kids would rather be anywhere else.
Media Center: A place with computers and also, books.
Playground: A place kids like to hang with their friends and keep away from their foes.
Stadium Bleachers: The upper part is for watching games, the underside, an outdoor sex education center.
Principal: A school superintendent-in-training.
Assistant Principal: A former teacher that is good with numbers and scaring kids.
School Nurse: A nurse with kids in school.
School Yearbook: An annual publication unpopular kids create to show off how popular other kids are.
Things I Think I Thought (Back-to-School Edition)
I thought, "Why is it only math teachers make you show your work when all the other teachers just expect you to do it."
They say the hardest year of adjustment for kids is between elementary school and middle school. I think it is also the hardest year for a middle school teacher.
I think it was when I was a teenager that I learned on the first day of school from the stoner kids in a corner of the school grounds why it was called "high" school. I went to college for a "higher" education.
I think school is important for two reasons: 1) It helps you to learn. 2) It helps you learn to work a system.
I think retirement is the longest homeroom period ever.
I think football coaches make great teachers because they know what motivates teens to learn: inappropriate jokes with sexual innuendos.
I think that extracurricular activities were invented the same year the college application was.
I think the reason they say learning is a lifelong process is to let everyone who was held back have a chance to catch up.
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