Joke Pile #526

 This week's Joke Pile is dedicated to my much smarter, younger sister who is hanging up her professorial cap from the college she has worked for many,  any years. Her students were lucky to have her encouragement and wisdom!

Groaner of the Week

A penguin in Antarctica was reaching the age of retirement, and so the other penguins threw her a retirement party. "What do you plan to do in retirement?" a young penguin asked the guest of honor. "Well, I plan to travel and see the world," said the penguin. "I want to visit every zoo in the world and see how our cousins are doing. I hear they are fed fish from a pail every day, and I've always dreamed of having fish brought to me that way." The other penguin said, "That sounds like fun, but don't you worry that the people at the zoo would think you were an escapee and put you in their zoo?" The penguin thought about it and said, "Well, I guess then I could scratch eating fish from a pail off my bucket list."

It's (Ad)Just A Joke

This week's joke comes from Thought Catalog and goes a little like this:

Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

My Take:

Where did the sheep go on vacation?

Ewe-d not believe it, but it went to Bahrain, Bali, Barbados AND the Bahamas!

Things I Think I Thought

It's a stretch to say I think about doing sit-ups.

I think committing a crime for the first time is conforming.

I think that if you are comparing bathroom scales, it is difficult to compare them on a scale of 1 - 10.

I  think I would much prefer to work from home than to work at a Think Tank, where you'd have to come to think about it.

I think snakes think when they molt, "Well, that's skin off of my back."

I think bird watchers are watched back by birds.

I think that until gluten is free, nobody is free!

I think a sheet of paper with the names of cows on it is a catalyst.

I think that if you in a magical place where people were all bad at their jobs it you'd  be in Ept.

I think the shortest distance between two bloody points would be a stray lion.