Joke Pile #523

This week's edition comes late thanks to life. Or what I once saw on a bumper sticker: Life, it's what happens if you keep on breathing!

 Groaners of the Week

When my father bought a new bicycle, do you know what we called it? We called it his "pop cycle."

When my mother got a device to take our temperatures, do you know what we called it? We called it "her mom meter."

Things I Think I Thought

I think for every thesis there is an antithesis.

I think if you get a coupon to see a crevice, you sought be prepared for it to be a void (and possibly, prohibited).

I think for some crafters, happiness is a warm glue gun.

I think that people who have been had have had it with those who've had them.

I think the statue of Venus de Milo is truly disarming.

I think if you have English tea with a camel, it is good form to ask if they prefer one hump or two?

I think everyone has limited bandwidth when their internet goes down.

I think some golfers can be both off-putting and off putting.

I think they need to take down those deer crossing signs, I been watching for years and have never seen any genuflect.

I wonder when quilters die, are they dispatched?

I think precision is not nearly as important as postcision.

I think someone should fill in the squares on waffles so that they can be extra-wide pancakes.

I think tofu is preferable to fingerfu.

I think I'm too clever for my own good and then realize I'm not clever by half.