Joke Pile #520

 Groaners of the Week - Easter Edition

A world-weary Easter Bunny goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Easter Bunny said, "A chocolate martini, and please, hop to it!"

Peter Rabbit was telling one of his long-winded stories about escaping Mr. MacGregor's farm in one piece. His wife said, "Oh boy, here you go down the rabbit hole again!"

Little Jenny's mom tried to explain what an Easter Egg hunt was. "Jenny," Her mom said, "What you do is carry a basket and look for brightly colored eggs. Some of the eggs will have surprises in them that you get to keep." Little Jenny said, "I don't know about keeping them, but won't the daddy bunnies be surprised that baby rabbits come from chickens?"

The Easter Bunny was trying to get the family to settle down so that he could take their annual Easter photo. Seeing his son goofing around, he said, "Peter, stop making human ears behind your sister's back!"

Why is the Easter Bunny so good at math? Nobody multiplies like bunnies!

Rodney the pig said, "I don't know what the big deal is about the Easter Bunny when it's always one of us carved up and on a platter in the middle of the dining room table."---No respect, I tell you, no respect!!

It's (Ad)just a Joke

This week's joke that 'needs' a tweak comes from Reader's Digest:

What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket?

Two points, just like anybody else.

My take...

What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket?

Three points and mad respect for his logo three jumper, just like Caitlin Clark!

Easter Thing I Think I Thought

I think that whoever thought rabbits were good symbols for Easter had a hare-brained idea.

Other Things I Think I Thought

I think Clubber Lang must have "pitied the April Fool."

I think all seasons should have equal rites, not just spring!

I think cilantro is deep-faking us by pretending to be coriander, too.

I think that if a Mother Superior goes off on a tangent, that is an example of a nun sequitur. 

I think that when you read a list of ingredients, you should stop and say, "Wait, isn't poop also a 'beef by-product'?" 

I think we have to decide: is 4 a limited-time, only?

I think that if I could just internalize what I was thinking, it would never be found in a Google search.

I think it is time for the uncommon denominator to be recognized!

I think it is hard to know whether you can honestly like the cut of one's jib without upsetting their mizzen mast. 

I think it is high time that we determine exactly what constitutes adequate elbow room (and does that room include a table to keep your elbows off of).

I in retrospect, think that Paul Simon should have been Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Time's Man of the Year in 1968.

I think that those aadvarks would do anything to get top billing in a A-Z list of creatures.

I think the expression "Boy, did I get a good night's sleep apnea" will never be widely popular.