Joke Pile #517

Groaners of the Week - Saint Patrick's Day Preview

Why do leprechauns put their gold in pots? They appreciate the pots abilities.

Why do the Irish eat corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick's Day? Because you shouldn't drink on an empty stomach.

It is said that wearing green makes you invisible to leprechauns and confusing to people who are color blind.

How did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland? He pointed them in the direction of the English Parliament and said, "Trust me, you'll be much happier there."

Why is the four-leafed clover symbolic to the Irish? It is green like Ireland, striking, like Irish men and women, and like the sobriety of the Irish at a pub on St. Patrick's day, it is altogether too rare.

What do you call a therapist in Ireland? Freastalaí beáir (bartender).

The day after St. Patrick's (for those who have overdone it) is a day of wearing of the chagrin.

It's (Ad)Just a Joke

Today's maladjusted joke comes from Humornama's collection of St. Patrick's Day Jokes:

What’s a leprechaun’s favorite mode of transportation?

A cloverboard!

My Take:

What’s a leprechaun’s favorite mode of transportation?

A Lamb O'Ghini

Things I Think I Thought

I think when a person in an easy chair uses too many blankets, there is just too much overlap.

I think when a foot race begins with "On your marks, get set, go," it is an example of a run-on sentence.

I think that when people are super possessive about their yard birds, it is a case of my crow management.

I think it is a rare person who has been tanning in the sun all day without sunblock, maybe even medium rare.

I think spring break was invented because nobody could figure out how to end the semester sooner.

I think March Madness is believing your team will make it to the final four...and it does, in April! How crazy is that?

I think about monograms, initially.

I think spring is the best time of the year if you discount the whole tornado season part of it.

I think when I have a flood of ideas, "damn them all!"

I think King Arthur probably looked forward to the Knightly News.

I think when it comes to understanding the subtleties of "The Lord of the Rings," you either Hobbit or you don't.