Valentines and Olympics Groaners of the Week
Why is Olympic Curling being highlighted on NBC? It's "Sweeps" Week.
Why was Cupid at the Olympics? He wanted to take a shot at competing.
When he went to the opening of the Olympics, Cupid had a good seat. It was in Section A of R row.
What did the Olympic Announcer say after the cross-country skiing competition was over? "Well, it's all downhills from here."
The top-rated one-man sledder who was crippled by anxiety when he realized it was his race to luge.
Then there was a Swedish hockey player who juggled three helmets. It was his version of. hat trick.
If Team USA plays the locally popular team from Finland, they will be the visitors and they will be playing on very Finn ice.
Since the Olympic hockey tournament will br on 2/14, players who break the rules will spend time in a heart-shaped penalty box.
It's (Ad)just A Joke
This week's joke comes from Parade's "200 Short Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Your Socks Off":
What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? A bowl full of mice-cream.
My Take:
What's a cat's favorite dessert? Apple purr (with mice-cream ala mode).
Things I Think I Thought
I think it must be confusing for countries in the southern hemisphere who are watching the Winter Olympics during their summer.
I think the most dangerous winter Olympic sport is the Skeleton: the sport where you sled head-first on an icy course at 100 mph--which increases the likelihood you'll expose your skeleton in an accident.
I think that the Olympic sport of Ski Mountaineering has the benefits of slowly climbing a mountain and also coming down very fast, whether you want to or not.
I think I possess amazing powers of observation, for instance, I notice when a joke isn't funny at the same time the audience does.
I think the scientific method is the best one I've ever observed, formed a question, hypothesized, experimented, analyzed, reported results, and repeated.
I think that at my age, the idea of having anything pierced is just that much of me that won't need to be buried.
I think the spring is trying to play a trick on us by showing up in February. Or did winter just decide to go on spring break early?
My wife thinks I'm infantile. That's impossible, I have never been a tile in my life, even as a infant.
I think there are merits to being well-educated. at least to sum degrees.
I think I'd like to see a color sample chart of lamp shades.
I think that if something scary glows in the dark, it is eerie-descent.
I think comedians are the only people who don't like it when a server at a diner asks them if they'd like a "warm up" --they'd be too afraid it would get more laughs than they do.
I think the hypotenuse of a triangle is exactly the same as the lowpotenuse of a triangle.
On the other hand, I think thew hypotenuse of a hippopotamus is a line I'd rather not cross.
I think that when they stick a fork in the road, it's done.
I think I'm stating the obvious when I say I'm stating the obvious.
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