Groaners of the Week - Dog Edition
What do you call a dog that is particularly appropriate to work with animal herders? A Germane Shepard
What do you call a Spaniel mix in the water? A Cockapool.
Did you hear about the attorney who was torn between his work and breeding dogs? For him, it was a question of boxers or briefs.
What might you shout if a huge dog got loose at a funeral? Great Dane in the mourning!
What happened to the sled dog who went on Ozempic? He shrank from a Malamute to a Husky.
What do you call a dog who is a magician? Lab Racadabra!
Do you know what happens when a border collie is sleeping by a vending machine? He becomes an out-of-border collie.
Did you hear about the odd dog trainer who worked only with wiener dogs to compete in dog shows? His methods were unortho-dachshund, but the results were fantastic!
Many of the late Queen Elizabeth's dogs were so out-of-control, they were called in-corgi-ables.
How does a member of Devo praise their frisbee-catching dog? Whippet, whippet good!
It's (Ad)just A Joke
This week's joke comes from the Laugh Factory:
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
My take:
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She drew them on the backboard at Carver-Hawkeye Arena. (Kids, that's why taking too many drugs may be a bad idea)
Things I Think I Thought
I think that cold foam is really whipped cream with rabies.
I think that lobbyists who are pushing for nuclear power plants are on a fission expedition.
I think a super simple, high-protein shake can easily be made by pureeing an old hot dog and vanilla ice cream in a blender.
I think Mrs. Beethoven found arguing with Ludwig annoying because her complaints fell upon deaf ears.
I think does and fawns are adorable; I deer you to say otherwise.
I think if actress Laura Dern were in a prog-rock cover band from the 80's, it would have to be called Steely Dern.
I think that if the late Bonanza actor Dan Blocker had a phlegm buildup to work out, it would have been in Hoss, spitable.
I think going to Scarborough Fair is great if you have the thyme.
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