Groaners of the Week
The comedian loved hosting the Oscars because she found it so awarding.
The garbageman loved his work because he was predisposed to doing it.
The teacher found their job to be very instructive.
The welder didn't have much job security; everything was always in flux.
I got a job as a forklift operator in a brassiere factory. My job was to lift and separate.
The magician wasn't doing so well with audiences, so he hired a lovely assistant. She seemed to do the trick.
The apprentice brick mason didn't get much training building chimneys; it was more like a trowel by fire.
Every day the lawyer came home from work, he felt just lawful.
The fledgling architect was scared to ask for a raise, but she was building up to it.
The dry cleaning staff didn't love their work, but were pressed into service.
The tense yoga instructor found her work was quite a stretch.
The young gemologist didn't always want to be called a jeweler, but it did have a ring to it.
The handsome baker liked to show off his perfect croissants and was the perfect roll model.
The small appliance repairer was popping up all over the place and was always toasted.
The plumber was so loud that his boss told him to pipe down. Now he only repairs things in the basement.
It's Adjust a Joke
Each week, I find a joke and try to improve it. This joke comes from Laffgaff.com
Setup: RIP to a friend of mine. His wife sent him out to get some sewing thread but he ended up in the bar all day.
Punchline: Gone but not for cotton.
My new and improved punchline:
When he got home drunk, she turned him into a tapestry and left him in stitches.
Things I Think I Thought
I think an ice cube comedian might say "Is it cold in here or is it just me."
I think, when it comes to gratitude, you can never overstate "You're welcome."
I think that if variety is the spice of life, routine must be the umami of life.
I think it is difficult to find peace in life or peas in your freezer.
I think if you are a people person, you have to be kind to your kind.
I think that there is no way of knowing what a brain in a jar is thinking about.
I think there has to be a casual version of formaldehyde.
I think to really be aware, you have to ignore a whole lot of other things.
I think that what is very apparent to others is the very thing you don't have a clue about.
I think there has to be a limit on limitations.
I think if I could leave you with one thought, it would be the one that keeps me up at night.
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