Moaners and Groaners of the Week
Dracula is going to the World Series on Halloween, or as he likes to call it, the all-you-can-bite buffet.
What do you call a witch from Boston? A wicked witch.
Dr. Frankenstein has gone into the whiskey distillery business. Look for his "Monster Mash" at fine liquor stores everywhere on Halloween.
The Mummy will likely miss Halloween this year; he's all wrapped up in his work.
Charlie Brown dropped a large pumpkin on his way home and it rolled to a stop at the storm drain. Just then, Linus came by, pointed at it, and cried out excitedly. "It's the grate pumpkin, Charlie Brown."
Why do people like haunted houses better than dating? At a haunted house, being ghosted is a good thing!
What is the Wolfman's favorite holiday? Well, "Howl"-oween, of course.
What's the difference between kids on Halloween night and gremlins and trolls? Gremlins and trolls are goblins and kids on Halloween night are a goblin' some candy!
Why doesn't Superman like going by cemeteries on Halloween? Too much crypt tonight.
Halloween Things I Think I Thought
I think that Dracula is so pale because he is on an iron-poor blood diet.
I think that during a crescent moon, maybe the Wolfman only grows partial stubble?
I think my parents gave me the best advice: to always "be yourself"-- unfortunately, I've been reminded every Halloween, it doesn't qualify as a costume.
I think I could wax on about how shiny candy corn is, but candy corn makers did it already.
I think that "Junk in the Trunk-or-Treat" at drive-thru Halloween spots has not caught on the way I would have expected it to.
I think that Frankenstein's monster looked like he was put together by Edward Scissorhands.
I think that people who don't like pumpkin carving don't know Jack... o'lantern.
I think Halloween night should be called what it is: "The Great Sugar Rush."
Every time I see a skeleton part I don't know on Halloween, I think that I should have boned up on anatomy.
I think that massive decorations in yards on Halloween is so displayed out.
I think that dressing up like jazz saxophonist Dave Koz for Halloween should qualify as cosplay.
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