Joke Pile #503

 Groaner of the Week

An Iowa Hawkeye football fan and a Minnesota Gopher fan ran into each other on the way to the big game. The Iowa fan said, "I hope you can live without Floyd of Rosedale for another year." 

The intense Minnesota fan said, "You do know we have beaten you guys 63 times in the past, so that bronze pig statue is coming back to Minnesota with us this year!" 

"Oh yeah," the Iowa fan said, going nose to nose with the Gopher fan. 

"Yeah," said the Gopher fan loudly into the Hawkeye fan's face.

A neutral onlooker watching the back and forth between the bickering rival fans intervened, "Fellas, calm down. Did ya ever notice how the competition for that trophy gets "pigger" and "pigger" every year. No matter who wins, that is something I think you two can agree on!" 

Groaner of the Week - Kid's Edition

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty started to fall 

A king's horsemen tried to help on a whim

Only to learn the yolk was on him.

Things I Think I Thought

I think whoever came up with the seven deadly sins forgot about murder. 

I think a grouchy part-time stone miner may be quarrelsome and quarry some.

I think if you have sleep apnea and sleep in a desert, the perfect one to do it in would be the Sonoran Desert.

I think it is impossible to know everything, but also impossible to know nothing.

I think those Halloween farm mazes should be called "Corn on Macabre."

I think when you shine a light on a roll of Reynolds Wrap, it is highly aluminating.

I think physically fit model train enthusiasts are into cross-training and train crossings.

I think it makes zero difference if you subtract 2 from 2.

I think that if you have an irrational fear of mites, you suffer from mitochondria.

I think skunks have more outstinct than instinct.

I think that some terrestrials can be a bit extra.

I think that Roy Rogers' skittish horse should have come with a Trigger warning.