Joke Pile #502

Groaner of the Week

Real life Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jill said to Jack, "Why didn't you just pay the water bill like a normal person? Don't expect me to follow you down. And do you know what? I ought to crown you."

Groaner of the Week - Kid's Edition

Q: Why does fall always come after summer?

A: It's autumn-atic.

Things I Think I Thought

I just learned that The Limited stores still exist. I think that they will remain open for a Limited time.

I think that when Smokey the Bear said "Only you can prevent forest fires" he should have added, "Specifically, this means you arsonists and pyromaniacs." 

I think solitary mollusks can be selfish shellfish.

I don't think much separates a theist from an atheist (other than a space between letters and a gulf in between beliefs).

I think that if you use a name-brand cosmetics and your skin is clear, you can rightfully say, "Sephora, so good-a."

I think whether you choose to do a cleanse or you eat food from McDonald's, it is a choice between a food fast place or a fast food.place

I think that most ministers have a homily face when they are giving a sermon.

I think a royal knight who taps maple trees would have to be called Sir Up.

I think when "You're Beautiful" singer James Blunt plays the piano, it qualifies as a blunt instrument.

I think it is possible to know yourself well, especially if you are a well.

I think a talkative Greek letter rapper and a whitewater paddler are good examples of freestyle kayaking.

I think to be in a league of your own would be good idea for Chicago Cubs fans every October.

When it comes to raking, I think I can take it or leaf it.

I think for stasis, there is no place like homeo.

I think that a vacation resort for AARP members should be called Club Medicare.