Joke Pile #499

Groaner of the Week

What do a seasonal gourd, a lactation device, and a basketball inflater have in common?

They are all pumpkin.

Groaner of the Week - Kid's Edition

What kind of vest do you wear in the fall?

A harvest.

Things I Think I Thought

I think that where the seasons and my wife are concerned, I am a fall guy.

I think that autism may be linked to not being able to pronounce acetaminophen. 

I think when the bakers came up with the baker's dozen, they weren't setting their sights very high.

I think that there is a reason for everything, especially if you are in big, big trouble.

I think that people who lick ducks must get a little down in the mouth.

I think that not drinking is such a sobering thought.

I think that it must be humbling to be humbled and tumbling to be tumbled.

I think that people who constantly drone on should be "droned on," if you catch my drift.

I think that dogs that lie down with fleas should be appreciated for their openness to new experiences.

I think that people who don't like free speech should gladly pay a speechwriter.

I think that it is impossible to know who the real brains of the outfit are, if it is a brain trust.

I think that if you don't have the facts, you are probably reading a fiction.

Tune in next week for the 500th edition of the Joke's Ennui Joke Pile.