Joke Pile #487

Groaner of the Week

Two boys at a summer sleepaway camp are having an argument about a foul odor in the air. "Phew!" says one boy, "That smells awful. What do you suppose that is?" The other boy says, "I think it's a skunk." "No," said the first boy, "I think it's a possum." The second boy said, "Well, there's only one way to find out. We'll set up a box trap and see for sure." The next morning, the boys checked the trap and, sure enough, there was a very still critter in the trap. It was black and had a white strip down its back but also snaggly teeth and a curly furless tail. The first boy said to the other, "It looks like we are both right, it's either a possum that looks like a skunk or a skunk that's playing possum."

Things I Think I Thought

I think that it's weird that the thinnest players on the football team are called wide receivers.

I also think that football teams would be smart to hire Aldi shoppers for defense because they always get their quarter back and often have a lot of sacks.

I think that wannabe escapees in prisons must have tunnel vision.

I think that auburn-headed people owe it to their hair-red-ity.

I think scam artists are i-con-ick.

I think kids would still do that annoying parking test in a parallel universe.

I think a bar is a place where many spirits are uplifted (cheers!). 

I think the best place to meet women is halfway.

I think if a musician's feline can't get out of a hole, it is staccato!

I think the Maine thing is lobster.

I think it is off-base to say that's how most ballplayers are called out by the umps.

I think that if you want to see the Eiffel Tower well, use a periscope.

I think I have lingering doubts all week long.

I think that a rolling stone gathers no satisfaction.

I think all-you-can-eat-shrimp is better than all-you-can-eat-giants.

I think that the best you can hope for with a skin rash is to just begin to scratch the surface.

I think seeing a theatrical performance in an icy performance hall is like the band that had the hit "Yellow",  Coldplay.

I think that the estimates of balloons that have burst are highly over-inflated.

I think that many a nemesis must have a nemebro.

I think that a gunwale is the part of the pistol where the bullet comes out of.

I think the school of hard knocks needs a doorbell.