Joke Pile #484

 

Groaner of the Week

Joni Ernst went to her hairstylist to touch up her hairdo. Her stylist said, "Are we doing the usual?" Ernst replied, "No, I like it medium length, but maybe a shampoo and then touch up the coloring." Her stylist said, "Gotcha. So never mind the cut to mid-ick hair, because we're going to dye anyway."

Things I Think I Thought

I think it would be very difficult to walk a mile in Bigfoot's shoes.

I think silent movie makers were never Foley aware.

I think that the reason I didn't pay my smeared parking ticket was that I couldn't read the 'fine' print.

I think it is accurate to call a mellow submariner a subdued sub dude.

I think that when the world gives them lemurs, zookeepers make lemur aides.

I think reading the side effects on a prescription bottle could cause dizziness, drowsiness, and anxiety.

I think it would be a good idea to stop by the duty-free shop if you are getting a colonoscopy abroad.

I think some people mean well, while others are, well, mean.

I think that donut makers often have glazed-over expressions.

I think it is great to have reached a certain point in life rather than to be pointless.

I think that when you go to Wendy's, you could get a Frosty reception.

I think that moms who hang around their adult children too much are malingerers.

I think it isn't that hard to fathom that a fathom is 6 feet in length, but that it is also 1.8288 meters is.