Joke Pile #483

 

Groaner of the Week

Honker the Big Schnoz clown was well-liked by his fellow performers because he was a nose-nonsense kind of guy.

(Gallows Humor) Groaner of the Week

The demanding king really appreciated his chief executioner because the executioner hung on his every word.

Things I Think I Thought

I think the secret to life could be the surprise ending.

I think it would be great to dramatize the dictionary as a play on words.

I think that if you think for too long, you will forget what you were thinking about in the first place.

I think that your average knight is armored and dangerous.

I think grass growers lead a sod existence. 

I think that if you tip your servers, they will be very mad at you when they get back up.

I think a chiropractor who worked on mollusks injured in a car crash would have to be called a clam adjuster.

I think that if you walk a mile in another man's shoes, he might wonder who took his shoes.

I think it takes a special kind of cook to come up with the daily special.

I think a crowbar is a pub for birds.

I think that the overhead lamp in an airplane's cockpit should be called the pilot light.

When I think of a Phillips head screwdriver, I wonder if Phillips' head is really shaped like that?

I think Elvis Presley, where the dew point is concerned, would have liked to have seen a little less condensation and a little more action, please.

I think that acrobats are too flippant.

I think filmmakers promoting films in France are Cannes artists.

I think the up-and-coming violinist continued playing after rehearsal so that she could wrap the conductor around her fiddle linger.

I think that the best rears of my life are behind me. 

I think people see their glass as half full or half empty. I think, who are these lucky people who have glasses?

I think we should worry more about what we leave behind for future generations, like smog or what I call our air apparent.