Joke Pile #481

 

Graduation Groaner of the Week 

To folks celebrating their graduations, there is a fine line that you shouldn't cross in public between drinking so much that you can barely stand and drinking so much that you are standing bare. 

Things I Think I Thought

I think that when the bottom of my feet hurt, it is like having my own built-in arch enemy.

I think I might enter a German sausage-eating contest. While it isn't my worst idea, it is my wurst idea.

I think that composers who write music that is too hard to sing should give it a rest.

I think that my standards have unilaterally lowered themselves.

I think if steps have trouble sitting down, it's probably because they've developed steroids.

Every time I think, "That was random," I realize I'm just repeating myself.

I think that I don't like going to the dentist, but I'm aching to do it.

I think my life is like dish soap; Just when I think I have no "Joy", it "Dawn"'s on me that I do.

I think that life is short and that is why it is always over-compensating.