Joke Pile #479

 Groaner of the Week

Two cowpokes are lying out by a campfire under the evening stars, and one says to the other,

"Dusty, how many stars do you reckon are up there?"

"I don't know, Rusty, but I reckon there's at least a billion."

After a considerable amount of time, the other cowboy says,

"Rusty, do you think it's gonna rain tonight?"

"Nah, Dusty, I don't see a cloud up there."

They listen to the coyotes howl, and after a spell, the other cowboy says to the first, 

"Dusty, how hot do you suppose it is tonight?'

"Rusty, I don't know, but I suppose it is at least a couple hundred degrees."

"Dusty, why do you think that is?"

"I don't know for sure, Rusty, but I reckon it is because I'm a little too close to the campfire and my britches are on fire."

Once A Pun A Time (Wordplay for word nerds)

Is that a pundigrion? Obsoletely!

What happens when kitty is ensnared in your tartans? Curiosity kilt the cat.

If I carry a widget, is that an example of a carriwitchit? Yes, and what is the purpose of a little riddle other than to fiddle a little?

Do you belong to the Royal Order of Granfalloonists? I do proudly, though, for what real purpose is a mystery!

Things I Think I Thought

I think that Sherlock Holmes thought grades K-7 were elementary, my dear Watson.

I think that sometimes that a wordplayer's gonna play, play, play, Then I shake it off.

I think there are two reasons why the world is in the shape it is: 1) Too many people. 2) Oversimplifying.

I think that laughing out loud every day is good for you, unless you are at a funeral.

Sometimes I think words orange cabbage, but that just nonsensical.

Finally, I think I will make a shameless plug for my just-released family/children's book "What Happened on the Garden Street Bus". Unlike my jokes, this is wildly entertaining. Do me a favor and check it out here on my publisher Ice Cube Press's website. If you are in the Iowa City area, I will be in conversation and reading from it with David Gould at Prairie Lights on June 12 at 7 pm. I would be happy if you and your closest fifty friends would come. Thanks for reading!