Joke Pile #476

 

Tax-ic Groaners of the Week

Did you hear about the IRS agent who quit her job? She found it too taxing.

I hear things are so busy down at H & R Block that tax preparers are dropping like files.

An accountant and a payroll clerk were dating for a while until the accountant confronted the clerk and said, "Wait, are you withholding something from me?"

There is a remake of a classic cult movie based on the new tariffs on foreign fruits and vegetables-- "A Tax on the Killer Tomatoes".

When it comes to classifying who to audit, the IRS has its own taxonomy.

Things I Think I Thought

I think that if I were relieved about something, I would be a man of 'phew' words.

I think a fermented cucumber seed is always in a pickle.

I think if your neighbor crashed their car headlong into your 60-year-old maple, boy, were they parking up the wrong tree.

I think that if I didn't think, it would be thoughtless of me.

I think that guitars would be happier if they weren't picked on all the time.

I think that it is long past time for fringe elements to be on the Periodic Table of Elements.

I think that if you don't see a dromedary in a zoo,  it is probably because it is camel-flaged.

I think that a paucity of dogs would be a great place for a dog-lover to live.

I think that when it comes to my preferences for yogurt, it's all Greek to me.

I think when it comes to clucking, chickens bawk the bawk.

I think that if I were a coffin manufacturer, I would make a deluxe coffin called the Claude model--- and explain that it is because every "Claude" has a silver lining.