'Tis a fine ting, St. Patty's Day. Fer (more o' less) yer pleasure, read on--measure fer measure. (Caution: PG-rated)
Groaner of the Week
What does St. Patrick have in common with actor Samuel L. Jackson?
They both had enough with the mawther feckin' snakes and drove them from the mawther feckin' plain.
Limericks (One of the older joke forms in the books, but whose origins are worth reading about)
There once was an adventurous leprechaun
Who arrived in America (pot o' gold in a carry-on)
Wanting a drink from the JFK lounge
From his pot, coins he did scrounge
The next day broke, he awoke in Tucson.
There once was a priest from Belfast
Who ended up in a cast
When asked why, "Truth to tell,
It was the bloody church bell"
Bell faster than this priest from Belfast.
There once was a horsewoman from Dublin
After a bareback ride, found a rash that was troublin'
Ointment applied by a nurse
Seemed to make it much worse
And hives on her thighs were a'bubblin'
There once was a Vegan from Cork
Who would never eat food with a fork
When asked why he dined
With utensils that had tines--
"Said he, I eat nothing with teeth, you dork."
There was a lovely maiden from Galway
Who swore she'd love her beau in all ways.
But when she met a handsome sailor
Who was heartier and hale-er
To the sailor said she, "Anchors aweigh!"
Once, a professor from Waterford
Huffed and said, "It's patently absurd."
On the evolutionary scale
To ask: Was it the wing or the tail
That originally flipped the bird?
There once was a poet from Limerick
Who said "I have come up with quite a trick."
I can make up clever rhymes
With a joke hidden in 5 lines
I call them "Limerick sublimer-Ricks."
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