Joke Pile #472

 

Groaner of the Week

Here's a cautionary bumper sticker for folks heading south this week: "If You Spring Break It, You Bought It."

Bonus Groaner That Is Also A Thinker

March Sadness: How English professors know their school's teams have been selected for the NCAA basketball tournament.

 (When they see them appearing in [these])

Things I Think I Thought

I think the next time that we have to "spring ahead," we should be issued crash helmets.

I think to have endurance, you have to starturance.

I think to err is human, but to air is for the birds.

I think that jokes don't grow on trees; they do come from yucca plants.

I think that ex-lawyers who become chiropractors have to pass the lumBar Exam.

I think my worth as a person cannot be measured, mostly because I am broke.

I think that fire ants who chew on a Rolaid and hallucinate experience the effects of an antacid.

I think having a huge hotel room would be suite.

I think if your car's paint was damaged by an angry Spanish explorer, it was probably a "con-keys-the-door."

I think that people who stuff feather pillows probably get a little down in the mouth.

I think living with disarray is not as good as living with a data array.

I think that moral fiber is not as seasonal as morel fiber.

I think that it would not be at all weird to hear a desk drawer say, "Boy, I've been slammed at work."