Joke Pile #471

                                              Celebrating Women in history and the joke's on them

Groaner of the Week: What is the difference between the seven dwarfs and Snow White? The dwarfs were all wee men, and she was all woman.

Celebrate Women: I'll Bet You Didn't Know (little known facts about historic women)

Joan of Arc's last words were, "Is it hot on here, or is it just me?"

Betsy Ross's original needlepoint flag wagon bumpersticker read: "America is a lot like the flag I sewed. It's held together by a bunch of tiny little pricks."

Cleopatra was not killed by a snake; she was simply ex-asp-erated.

Biblical Eve wasn't mean to her life partner Adam, but she did rib him.

The first woman described as radiant was chemist Marie Curie who discovered radium.

Aviator Amelia Earhart actually fell into a water hole in Australia, and to this day, it is well preserved.

It was rare that social work pioneer Jane Addams took time off, but when she did, she had the Hull House to herself.

Calamity Jane, tired of being the best-known woman of the "Wild West." In later years, she moved to Kansas and changed her name to Plains Jane.

French novelist Colette met Alexander Graham Bell who insisted on using her formal name Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette. She was quoted as saying to him, "If you ring me on your telephone, please call me Colette."--He thought she said "call me collect" and she had to pay for the phone call.

Queen Isabella of Spain was busy during her relatively long reign. She hosted the first game show called the "Spanish Inquisition," and losers were burnt at the stake. (Quick sidenote: A guy named Columbus was a big winner, and she sent him on an all-expenses paid trip to the New World [the predecessor for Disney World]).

Harriet Tubman, most notably known for the Underground Railroad, was called Black Moses. But did you know she was the inspiration for the book and movie "Harriet the Spy"?

Things I Think I Thought

I think women are the best thing that ever happened to men who never want to organize anything.

I think that women are by nature smarter than men, except when they marry one.

I think when men and women evolved, women got there first.

I think men and women do think differently; women don't always think well of others, and men think otherwise.

I think that women have at least two things that men of a certain age want: time for them, and seemingly infinite patience to put up with them.

I think that women are like a Swiss army knives, able to do many things in closed quarters and also cut ties when necessary.

I think dedicating a month to women's history must have been something a guy thought was a good idea to do without asking.

I think it is possible that many men like to be idolized while women see men as dull liars.

I think some men feel like they should have their own men's history month or, as many women might say, "You do, every month except none of them."