This week's joke pile is dedicated to the snow and Valentine's Day.
Groaner of the Week
The abominable snowman drives for Uber. The question he always gets from hurried customers is, "Are we there, yeti?"
Groaner of the Week (For Lovers Only)
Cupid walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "Give me something, and make it sharp." The bartender shot him with a cross-bow.
Snow Day Riddles
What is white and white and white all over? A snowball rolling down a hill.
What would be a good Hollywood name for a snowy winter vortex? The Blast and the Flurious.
How do you know when a snowman has made it? They have a 24 carrot nose.
What did Simon say to Garfunkel about one-person sled drivers? "Anyway, you look at it you luge."
What do you call a Zamboni when it is backing up? "Inobmaz"
What do you call a moody, young snowman? A little frosty.
What do cat-loving, poetic needleworkers do on snow days? They like knittin' kitten mittens.
What do you call an Irish pop singer on a bobsled? Sled Sheeran.
What is the difference between skiing equipment and a person from Warsaw? One is a ski pole and the other is a Polski.
What happens if a lawyer slips at a ski lodge? They file a snowsuit.
Things I Think I Thought About Valentine's Day
I think that the happiest people on Valentine's Day are florists, restaurant owners, and candy store owners.
I think anybody who sends a cherub loose with a bow and arrow is just asking for trouble.
I think that people in "2001: A Space Odyssey" had to celebrate HAL-tine's Day.
I think people who would rather sedate themselves on Feb. 14th are celebrating Valium-tine's Day.
I think that once you are married for a long time, "hearts and flowers" eventually become "farts and hollers."
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