Joke Pile #463

Happy 2025 to my tens upon twenties of readers! I hope Father Time is treating you better than a Beverly Hills dermatologist. I have been thinking a lot about the late, great Robin Williams and his ability to "write" jokes on the fly. Here is a compilation of him on David Letterman's show.. This Joke Pile is dedicated to the quickest wit I have ever watched. One of his best movie lines (but not from one of his best movies) and words to really enjoy living by: "Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this earth." - from "Jack".

Robin Williams Adjacent Groaners of the Week

How did Robin Williams start his day? Screaming at his blender "Gooooood Morning, Vitamix!"

What did Robin Williams say when he learned his koi pond had frozen over, "Carpie Die, um?"

Who lays on the horn at a traffic light and shouts "Hey, Nanoo, Nanoo--move it, idiot!"? Mork from New Ork.

Things I Think I Thought 

I think that the older I get, the more I think of staying up until midnight on New Year's Eve as a serving suggestion.

I think if that the Momma Bear and Poppa Bear had another cub, it would say something about forbearance.

I think that the drink called a Fuzzy Navel should be renamed a Glint of Lint.

I think if you try to get past someone without a shirt at the football game, you can chest barely do it.

I think watching a basketball game in an arena is like watching a penny you dropped down a wishing well, you might have the outcome you desire, but you could also be at home waiting for it.

I think that the 70s are over-rated unless you are living them right now.

I think it would be very sad to fail a litmus test.

I think that there is nothing sweeter than watching someone else's crying baby leaving a restaurant.

I think that you can never be too mediocre or too surprised by those who think you are.

I think that nothing moves me more than being rear-ended by a Chevy Suburban,

I think that if I were a tailor, I would care more about a sun inseam than a sunrise.

I think it is easy to underestimate the number of dumb bunnies driving the roadways of America in bad weather by ignoring the fact that l am one of them.

For public relations purposes in 2025, I think we should make the rest of the world the 51st state, then the next war would be a war between the states, not World War III.

I think of violent nightmares as being sleep-deprived.