Joke Pile #458

                                      (Made with DeepAI image Creator)

Groaner of the Week 

Things are getting so tough for retailers to make a profit that Macy's Thanksgiving Parade route is now ending inside the store.

Black Friday Groaner of the Week

Black Friday: The day that begins with bargain hunting and ends with bar hunting.

Things I Think I Thought

I think with Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday all getting so much attention, Sunday has got to be asking, "Where did I go wrong?"

I think I ate so much turkey that I need a presidential pardon.

I think I ate so much on Thanksgiving that my man Spanx exploded.

I think that all of Thanksgiving food should be called stuffing.

I think that not shopping on Black Friday to spend time with friends or family is not only okay, it's a gift, really--and you don't have to return it!

I think that all the people I see walking or running on Thanksgiving are not accomplishing much.

I think the Giving Tuesday folks are always a day late and many dollars short.

I don't think much of Cyber Monday, but Cyborg Monday is something to worry about.

I think that seeing trees without their leaves is like seeing your grandpa in his underwear--not much to look at.

I think it is okay for stores to make a big deal about the holidays, but couldn't they have after-Christmas sales before Christmas, just to get them out of the way, like they do Thanksgiving?

I think that when stores open up early for Black Friday, they should open that many hours later the next day, so the staff can rest up for the long holiday slog.

I think that it is weird you never see Santa Claus stocking up on Black Friday.

I think it would be nice for Santa to bring me a new house, but then I like to live in the present.