Joke Pile #450

 

(Created with AI Image Generator--count the fingers)

Too "Inside" Groaner of the Week: A comedy writer is at a wedding and walks up to guests waiting to get a cup of  Champagne punch.  "Hey," he says,  "I see the punch line, but where's the set-up?"

Kiddos say the darndest things: Timmy's kindergarten teacher shows the children a book of different kinds of birds. First, she shows them a robin with its red breast. The teacher asks, "Who has seen this bird today?" Everyone's hand shot up in the air. Then she shows them a Blue Jay with its blue feathers. "Who has seen a Blue Jay today?" Once again all the children raise their hands. Then their teacher shows them a Woodpecker and asks "Who has seen a Woodpecker today?" All the children's hands go up except Timmy's. "Timmy, have you ever seen a woodpecker?" Timmy says, "No, ma'am but my Daddy tells my Mommy he has a wooden pecker every morning, so I guess she has seen one today."

Things I Think I Thought

I think that when things go missing from inventory, there's no accounting for it.

I think that IT people don't talk in the restroom because IT goes without saying.

I think that watching the petals coming off of a flower is sweet, but watching pedals coming off a bicycle is horrifying.

I think the difference between Trump and Harris is one wants to build a wall and the other wants to build with Walz.

I think one sure sign of the coming apocalypse is the sign that says "Coming Soon...The Apocalypse".

I think that it would be nice to have a plum job but not in a prune factory.

I think that positivity is one sure way to show people how delusional you can be.

I think the French expression for being tired has got to be L'thargic.

I think that the sum of awe is awesome.

I think that the positive thing about negative people is how positive about being negative they are.