Joke Pile #449

The Loaded Pun (Taylor's Version): Now that Taylor Swift has decided who she is supporting, former president Trump's supporters complain that he's being Swift Voted. 

Groaner of the Week: Sign seen at a dog park - "Unleash The Beast"

Things I Think I Thought

I think when you call a helpline and they argue with you and then say they'll call you in the morning,  IT isn't up for debate.

I think if it was so inclined, a catawampus cat would whomp us.

I think with curmudgeons, it is never too surly to tell.

I think that if there were an elegant way to say an ant was in your mouth and fell over a taste bud, it would trip off the tongue.

I think that if a watch had more time on its hands, it would be because it had a sweep-second hand.

I think if I lowered my expectations any further, they would be living in the southern hemisphere.

I think the astronauts who were stranded by the Boeing spacecraft are not shocked that they are stuck at the spaceport and flying standby home.