Joke Pile #439

 Things I think I thought:

I think, based on her timing and her employer, UI's Coach Lisa Bluder didn't really retire, she just graduated with honors.

I think it is great to live in the past because otherwise, I wouldn't be alive now.

I think they need a shorter definition for the word concise,

I think that, in the scheme of things, we need to be better at scheming.

I think I have reached my highest ground and am still very much underwater.

I think that the Boxer Rebellion was definitely not about underwear choices.

I think that Eminem must celebrate Mathers' Day.

I think Cinco de Mayo has nothing to do with 5 jars of mayonnaise.

I think cinematographers prefer aerial shots to Zoom meetings.

I forgot to remove the teabags from our teapot for the last seven days; it's not an excuse, just strong week tea.

I think that bearded irises are just trying to cover up their insecurities.

I think it is nice to accentuate the positive and to eliminate the negative but I'm also okay with messing with Mr. In-Between.

I think having a clear conscience is difficult for the word opaque.

I think that being employee-of-the-month frequently leads to plaque build up.

I think harmony and me would like to be pretty good company but we have discord.

I think if you herniate your abs that is core-ruption.

I think that graduation is another word for starting over at the bottom.

I think that crows have common caws, if not a common cause.

I think we all should bow down to the Burrito Supreme.

I think a bloody murder of an inflatable globe in a passageway would be an example of alley-gory.

I think I'm hard-pressed to say anything about using starch to iron a shirt.