Joke Pile #436

Things I think I thought this week:

I think the WNBA = NBA with a drastic markdown in player salaries.

I think if I were Indiana, I'd recycle the old MLB slogan: Indiana Fever --catch it!

I thought this about Caitlin Clark on draft night: The "noise level" wears Prada.

I thought this about Kate Martin on draft night: Things turned up Aces.

I thought this about Lisa Bluder on draft night: Back to square one, but with a bigger fanbase!

I think it rained so hard today that the chipmunks should have worn scuba gear.

I think it rained so hard that the tulips needed to wear life jackets.

I think it was so windy that Mary Poppins might have ended up in Omaha.

I think that texting is the most efficient way to have other people ignore you.

I think that street performers should earn more than the mime-imum wage.

I think that moms and dads with toddlers would benefit from having crawler ID.

I think that a good sense of humor is laughable.

I think that knowing everyone in your family tree is all relatives.

I think that if you teach a person to phish, you should be in jail.

I think a great ad for an eagle's nest would be "A loft, very aerie."

I think that the sight of static electricity is really moving.

I think it would be hilarious to see a cardboard cutout of a piece of cardboard.

I think that squeaky shutters need louver-cation.

I think that bugs really appreciate low-low-lying fruit.

I think that ~ has a sense of en-tilde-ment.

I think that you can get blood from a turnip, but you have to punch it in the nose first.

I think the next time I get another text from a politician, I will reply: "Me thinks thou doth 'pro' text too much. (STOP)."