Joke Pile #435

Things I think I thought April 10th edition:

I think that solar eclipses are very interesting but not as much as when the Weather Channel reporters run out of ideas/ways to talk about them. 

Note to cell phone users during the eclipse: I think the idea is to actually enjoy the four minutes of total darkness, not light it up with your phone.

I think that a hawk would be too much for a gamecock in real life.

I think that trees question whether "tree services" are really a service to them or an elite group of assassins.

I think if I scream, you scream, and we all scream for ice cream, there won't be enough to go around.

I think that charity begins at home, as does table-ity.

I think it is impossible to overstate what has already been overstated.

I think that in the past, the only decisions you made were yes or no. In the future, maybe might be an option?

I think that paint gets tired of watching itself dry and would prefer a blow dryer.

I think that "crunch time" is a bad thing when it involves two or more cars or trucks.

I think that talk of tailpipes is exhausting.

I think it is possible to have an original thought but this isn't it.

I think when golfers are off putting, it can be off-putting to those who don't like it. 

I think that a herd of over-the-top cows during milking can be like desert caravan animals...you know, drama dairies.

I think that a reign of terror is far scarier than a rain of terriers, though the latter would be unexpected.

I think that if the Postal Service used Eagles songs we might see posters that say things like "Tape It to Limit" or "(There's a) New Zip in Town"

I think a great bumper sticker for couples who proudly work the yard together might be "How Important Is Our Lawn? I'm gardening it with my wife"

I think that two wrongs don't make a right but they might make a u-turn.

I think I ate too much chocolate during Easter. I swear I had an M&M-bolism.

I think that southern angels say things like "Well, bless his little harp."

I think that something that was "cruciating" would be more painful than something excruciating.

I think if someone's patience is tried, it had better have a good attorney.

Finally, an aside: Larry David and company have ended the 12 year-run of one of the funniest shows ever. I think This last season of."Curb Your Enthusiasm" ran out of enthusiasm and it was time to kick it to the curb. But what a run of funny business and celeb cameos. It was pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good... Feel free to comment about your favorite LD moments.