Joke Pile #427


 A week full of holidays, so Laissez les bons temps rouler...

Did you know Martin Van Buren was president during the first official Mardi Gras in New Orleans? Did you know he celebrated by growing out his muttonchop sideburns?

Did you know that Mardi Gras is a pagan tradition that the French helped popularize? If you did, that makes you a "Mardi" pants!

By the way, outdoorsy-hiker-people, if you are in New Orleans at Mardi Gras, be aware they are not yelling "Show us your ticks." So keep your legs covered.

For non-alcohol drinkers, you can get beverages at Mardi Gras celebrations such as the Mockarita or, instead of a Hurricane, you can get a Category None.

For those of you spending time with your "sweetie" tomorrow, remember St. Valentine's Day ended up in a massacre once in Chicago. 

Has anyone besides me ever thought of getting Cupid arrested for assault with a deadly weapon? 

St. Valentine is known as the patron saint of lovers, but also for intervening regarding beekeeping and epilepsy, as well as the plague, fainting and traveling. I would say he is the patron saint of all things that either live in hives, are caused by hives, or give you hives.

Did you know: The word lovebirds is thought to have come from an unhappy recently dumped beau who declared "love is for the birds."

My favorite idea for a sarcastic "Conversation heart" candy is: Luv U Suck

Yesterday was Abraham Lincoln's birthday, you can read his personal diaries aka the "Lincoln Logs" at the Library of Congress.

Yesterday was also President's Day, the day that our nation's leaders achievements are honored by low prices on mattresses.

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