Vegetating and considering the good, the bad, and the uglifruits and veggies...
Among the citrus fruit, limes don't get a lot of respect in the juice department; on account of them being little squirts.
Lettuce's favorite Led Zeppelin album? "The Song Romaine's the Same"
What do you get when you mix an earthworm, some carrots, and a jigger of vodka? A "Bait-a-carrot-tini".
I went to the grocery store during the blizzard and there was only one kind of fruit left. I'm telling you it was just bananas...
Sometimes when I am craving something, I relish a reddish radish. I can't say it three times fast though.
Joke for a third-grader: Why is a fart like a reedy vegetable? They are both a-spare-a-gas.
What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe with broccoli? You get a melon-colli, baby!
I used to reckon that everyone loved herbs like I do. But now, oregano-t.
What fruit can you draw with? A crayon-berry.
I wonder if there is a job opening at an apple orchard if they have a sign that says "Apple lie here."
Never tried a habanero pepper. I have tried quite a few wider ones though.
What do you get when you mix lemon and orange gelatin together? I'm not sure, but I think it's a tangelo.
My wife wondered why I was safety-pinning pairs of canned beans together. But she understood better once I told her that the label on the can read "Pinto Beans."
I heard there is a large shipment of root vegetables that have gone missing. But I'm sure they'll turnip...
What's the difference between an Asian cabbage and a famous classical composition? One is Bach's "Joy (of man's desiring)" and the other is bok choy.
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