Joke Pile #421

 
Happy New Year. It is 2024 and there is an even chance it will be a good one, especially after the odd 2023. Here are the things I think I thought about 2023 and some new things I think I think about 2024.

I think I thought that Taylor and Travis should just get a private luxury box already.

I thought that the Golden Bachelor was a better name than "Bitter Old Man".

I thought that Congress should have had its pay docked for the lack of work it did.

I think that Anderson and Andy are one of the best ways to bring in the New Year. The best way is with the TV off.

I think that people who bring in the New Year with fireworks should have to set them off inside their homes, so they know how it sounds inside mine.

I think I thought that Caitlin Clark couldn't be any better than she was last year. Then Caitlin said, "hold my Gatorade."

I think that if the best we can do is a couple of old dudes duking it out for president, we should get to choose which old dudes they are. I'll take Methuselah or better yet, the Lord almighty. You know, someone equipped to go the distance.

I think I thought one of the best things that happened in 2023 was making it to 2024.

I think I think that 2024 will be a better year for ad revenue from political campaigns and PACs.

I think I think that when you retire people will quit asking you to donate to charities or political campaigns so much. It turns out, that is all they do.

I think I think that there is a direct relationship between the amount of junk mail received and the amount of recycling that goes out on trash day.

I think I thought that if you really needed money for your charity, you would not send pens, and cards, and address labels, and shopping bags to get some. 

I think I thought that 2023 proved that you can do less with more, particularly if you wanted to be a candidate running for president.

 I think that the social media site known now as X stands for X-crement.

I think I think that banning books in school is like banning beer in bars.

I think I thought that social media influencers were like the devil if he looked good in Lululemon.

I think I think that Zoom is just another way to make families unhappy to see each other at the holidays.

I think that 2024 will be a good year for overseas travel particularly after next November.

I think I thought 2023 would be a good year to visit family members for perhaps the last time.

I think I think that optimism is a nice idea, but pessimism is realistic in the face of certain doom.

I think I thought that if we learned nothing else in 2023, we have confirmed that evolution moves much slower than ignorance.

I think I think that the highest court in the land should not be allowed to weigh in on anything related to drugs for obvious reasons.

I think I think that whatever 2024 has in store, half of us will not like it and the other half will like it less.

I think I thought this would be a fun little exercise. I think I thought wrongly.