Joke Pile #416

 

Things that I think I thought:

I think that people have a right to be upset but not downset.

As a kid, I thought funeral homes were the place that dead people moved into when they died.

I often think, how can people call others thoughtless? I mean aren't all of us always thinking?

I thought I had an epiphany once, but I forget what it was.

I think if you ask three people what they think, it could take quite a while to take it all in.

I learned that housecats are scientifically referred to as felis cattus. I think a good cat rapper name would be Felis Da Cat.

I think a zero sum game should be called what it really is: robbing Peter to pay Paul.

I think that soap bubbles are the protective enclaves where like-minded daytime drama actors live.

I think that a lion's share is dependent on how many lions are involved.

I think all pool bottoms should be  aqua.

I think that a cheesy men's cologne would aptly be named Aqua Velveeta.

I thought being carefree was a good thing until I got a hospital bill. It definitely was not free care.

I used to take time-lapse photos of sinkholes with a buddy. Now I think it was actually co-lapsed photography.

I heard that the makers of Fig Newtons and Doublemint chewing gum were going to make a fig-flavored gum. I think it was a fig/mint of my imagination.

I think deliberation is when judges send people to jail.

I think that the band Europe should have called their best-selling album "The Vinyl Countdown."