Joke Pile #412

In honor of this particular joke's number. 

For your information: The University of Iowa has the makings of a great team this fall. That is if they have the women's basketball team on offense and the men's football team on defense.

For your information: Objects in the sideview mirror are also larger than they appear.

For your information: Abraham Lincon said, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." But in a college town, this is what are called off-campus apartments.

For your information: The expression "Use it or lose it"  may or may not apply to your mind or your money.

For your information: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day if it is the only meal you are having.

For your information: An "all-you-can-eat-buffet" is not a great idea if your hosts are either Zombies or entomologists. 

For your information: A large gathering of people engaged in circular arguments is also known as a "circonference". 

For your information: The brain can process millions of bits of information in 15 seconds, but cannot process why your sister married your ex-brother-in-law.

For your information: It may be true that with age comes wisdom. It is also true that with age comes less wisdom teeth.

For your information: If you leave plaster of paris on your face for too long, it will leave a lasting expression.

For your information: In San Francisco, there is a combination marijuana processing facility and a public library. If you have any questions, there is a "Reefer Rinse" librarian available.

For your information: Columbus Day is no relation to Doris Day.

For your information: There is a saying in Japan that if you are thirsty and put your covered foot in a fire, you end up with a hot sake.

For your information: There is a city that has a sign when you enter it that reads "We reject cigarettes." Or as I read the sign, "No fs, ns, or butts."

For your information: Cruelty to animals is an abomination, but Peru is a llama nation.

For your information: It is recommended that you aim for 7 and 9 hours of sleep per night. The easiest way to achieve this is to take a nap while crossing the international date line.