Joke Pile #408

Things I think I thought: 

I think that summer forgot to go on vacation.

I think I love autumn more every year. But I'll let you know when it gets here.

I think more often than I should--this according to my wife.

I have often thought, where did I key my leaves. But the contrary is truer.

I think mail carriers push the envelope as far as they can, That is, all the way through the mail slot.

I thought that now is the time that try the hearts of men and also people writing checks at the grocery store when I was in line behind them.

I thought "going Dutch" meant choosing to wear wooden shoes as a lifestyle choice.

When I think of pumice stone, it wears me down. 

I think that when a Scottish duck sees a Vegas show and sees a performer sporting a feather boa, the duck thinks, "she wears me down!"

When I think of sad horror movies, it tearifies me.

I think if there is a Tuesday, why isn't there a Threesday?

I think when people say "a penny for your thoughts" that they will be easily outbid on eBay.