Joke Pile #399*

 *Things I think I thought: mid-term election edition

I think if you believe that you don't matter, count all the emails and texts you've received for campaign donations.

I think that voting is the most important thing you can do other than live until your vote is counted.

I think that if you consider all the money that is spent on elections and then consider the current Power Ball lottery total, people still spend way more money trying to get instantly rich than in having a functioning democracy.

I think that if children were allowed to vote, Saturday morning campaign ads would interesting.

I think that political commentators are a lot like weather forecasters and frequently as inaccurate.

I think that if elections were like a season of  The Bachelor, more people would tune in.

I think that people who run for the school board have the most thankless job. No matter what they do, somebody is mad at them and the pay sucks.

I think that when politicians tell you that our brightest days are ahead, they have never hung around old people.

I think that you should never trust people who eat state fair food and then touch other people's kids.

I think that answering phone surveys make liars out of all of us.

I think that politicians who brag about talking to people from all walks of life have never talked to a homeless person or a 5-year-old.

I think that politics would be more fun if it were played like "Jeopardy." 

I think that there should be an option to vote for do-overs.

I think that media that sells ad space for political purposes should have to run disclaimers during them to fact-check the content of the message.

I think that the purveyors of flannel count on political campaigns for much of their election-year profits.

I think that political debates would be much more fun to watch if the participants were hooked up to lie detectors and received a small electrical shock when they were untruthful.

I think that when an election is over, there should be a public event where the voters have to congratulate each other for a vigorous contest of ideas and shake hands. That or engage in civil war. with Nerf guns.

I think that no matter who you vote for, you will cringe at some point in the future and wonder why you did.

I think that if we believe that things couldn't get worse, all we have to do is wait for the next election cycle.

I think that a lot of people will be disappointed by the results of the election, especially if they didn't win the lottery.

I think unless you have been buried in a landslide or a tsunami, it is not a good idea to call a political election outcome a landslide or a tsunami. Personally, I'd go with "well, we're really screwed now."

I think it would be interesting to know how many moving companies are contacted after state elections are called.