Joke Pile #396

I've had some time to think and...

I think that mathematics is a language that most of us are not fluent in.

 I think the single most important things to remember are what you had for breakfast and your ATM pin.

I think it is important to remember birthdays and anniversaries, even if it is well after the actual date of them.

I thought I would share my infinite wisdom with you, unfortunately, I left it in my other pants.

I think drinking straws are inappropriately named, but I'd be wildly entertained if they did what they are called to do.

I also wonder, if a drinking straw was pulled over for a DUI, what would it blow into?

I think you can't always get what you want and sometimes you can't even get a reasonable facsimile.

I think it is impossible not to be cynical. The real question is are you optimistically cynical or pessimistically cynical?

I think if you don't vote, you have no reason to complain, except at the people who did vote.

I think that democracy is worth defending, but not by being a dick about it.

I think cauliflower should be called "albino broccoli with a glandular disorder."

I used to think that children should be seen and not heard. Now, I think that they should neither be seen nor heard unless they are stuck in a well or something.

I think that sharks would benefit from orthodontia.

I think that if the postal service were serious about their "Forever" stamps, they would let you use them over and over again.

I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree unless it is poetry!