Joke Pile #395

 I may be over-thinking but...

I think the hills ARE alive with the sound of music, unfortunately it isn't very good music.

I think I have never heard my toaster offer any words of good cheer and therefore be called what it really is, a Bread Burner.

I think love is wasted on fools, but so is April 1st.

I think I will never go quietly into that good night unless chloroform and an unmarked van is involved.

I think we are what we are, but also, what we are is a mess.

I just thought of how I could commit the perfect copycat murder. Step one, find a copycat. Step two, murder the copycat.

I think the worst part of marriage are the anniversaries. They remind us of all the sex we are no longer having.

I thought being eaten by a mountain lion was horrifying, by being earn by a snapping turtle would be horrifying and take a lot longer.

I think killing a person with kindness would still be the nicest form of murder.

I used to think I was macabre, but then I looked it up and it gave me the willies.

I think that anytime some asks you for money, you have the right to say "no." Unless that person is mugging you.

I think that Mercury is always in retrograde.