Joke Pile #374

Football Season and the Friday Funnies are all about it... 

Football season is upon us, so we'll see a lot more people hanging out in the parking lot than at Walmart on Black Friday.

Iowa football fans love their Hawkeyes and on a typical game day, you'll see a lot of black and gold. In fact, the last time I saw that much black and yellow was when I got stung by a swarm of yellow jackets.

Football fans also create new business opportunities like rent your lawn out as a parking lot. Great on game day, but frowned on the rest of the week. "Hey Bill, what's with the lawn?" "Oh, there's a home game next week too, so we rented the lawn out ahead of time."

Football marching bands are fun to watch, although the last time I saw musicians that regimented, they were backing up Lawrence Welk.

And you've got to be patient to be a football fan. There's a wait to get into the stadium, a wait to get concessions, a wait to use the bathroom--and in the case of some teams a really long wait to get a win!

And really, what is the point of "homecoming" games? Half the time the team is just going away again and in the other, it hasn't gone anywhere in the first place.

And cheerleading is a peculiar thing when you think about it. Look, you've got fans in the stands cheering their heads off and it is not because Bambi said, "Give us an 'O'"--it's because some dude on the field has made a spectacular catch.

What is the need for halftime? I'm sure the players would rather go home a half hour earlier and the marching band can do their thing in the parking lot at the pre-game tailgate.

Also, do there need to be so many commercial interruptions? Maybe the halftime show could be all the commercials that you didn't have to watch between downs?

Truly the best part of football is the tailgate parties. They are always happy affairs with a lot of excited people having a good time. Can you imagine if tailgate parties happened after the game-- when the team lost? 

And can we all agree that bowl games have gotten a little out of hand? Maybe football should adopt the March Madness thing and have brackets of teams playing until one of them becomes the national champion?