Joke #372


I have a serious chipmunk problem. I open the front door, and there's a chipmunk. I open the patio door, and there's another chipmunk. In my planters, chipmunks! On my back porch, more chipmunks! It's getting to the point that I'm thinking of catching and running the chipmunks through a wood chipper--that way there won't be any more chipmunks a-munk us! 

Last night I saw two raccoons scurry down the storm drain. It didn't bother me until I saw one of them reappear with binoculars focused on my house! 

We have owls that hoot all night. Last night, my wife woke me up from a dead sleep to report she heard no owls and what did I think was going on? I mumbled "an outbreak of laryngitis" and went back to sleep.

We have deer in the neighborhood and occasionally, they'll stroll into our yard. I didn't mind it until recently one of them flagged me down and complained that the tomato plants tasted a little bit "off."

Lately, we've been seeing a lot of crows in the neighborhood and they are so loud! I think this is caws for alarm.


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