Joke #367

 Cracking-wise on going back to school...


Why is it that moms get teary-eyed about kids going to their first day of school...until about the 4th grade?

I am not sentimental about elementary school. Elementary school is when you learn that bullies can be boys or girls. I know this because a girl named Corinne wouldn't stop trying to kiss me in the second grade! "Leave me alone, I'd say." But Corinne wouldn't let up. When I told my mom that I was being bugged at school, she said, "Most bullies are really cowards. Whatever they are threatening to do to you, do it to them first and they'll back down." So the next day when Corinne tried to kiss me, I kissed her." My mom was right she did back down (actually ran away screaming).

My favorite part of school was the walk home from it.

I actually liked parts of school--the part where you go to recess and the part where you got to go home.

My math teacher in high school liked to use big words like d-e-t-e-n-t-i-o-n. He held me over after school to explain what it meant.

Riding a school bus is like being the 73rd crayon in the box of 72--a super tight squeeze.

I will never forget school lunches. My stomach reminds me of them from time to time when it gets sick.

Schools today have things like air conditioning--how is a person supposed to learn if they aren't suffering?

What do you call a teacher who still has their sanity? Teacher of the Year.


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