Joke #338

 Summer Edition

Billy and Bobby hear the sounds of the ice cream truck coming down the street. They run into the house and start begging their mom for ice cream money.

Billy: Mom, if you give me money for ice cream, I promise to be good all month!

Bobby: Well, I promise to be good all year!

Billy: Well, I promise to be good for two years!

Bobby: Oh yeah, I'll be good for five years.

Mom: Boys, I'm glad you want to be good, but it should be because you want to be good, not for ice cream. Do you understand why I say that?

Billy: I guess.

Bobby: I suppose.

Mom: Besides, it's too late, the ice cream truck already went past our house.

Sally and Monique always looked forward to summer camp. They had grown up together and were friends, but Monique had moved away, so this year would be extra special. The girls texted each other just before camp.

Sally: Can't wait 2 CU.

Monique: Me 2.

Sally: Hope we R in the same cabin.

Monique: Me 2.

Sally: Hope Jan won't come this year. She's 2 mean.

Monique: ...

Sally: U there?

Monique: ...

Sally: ?

Monique: Sorry, was chatting with Monique, she goes to my school. She's my BFF.

Remember when you were a kid and how much fun it was running through a sprinkler on a hot summer day or diving headfirst onto the Slide 'n Slide? Now, I worry about breaking a hip falling in the shower.

Farmer Don and Farmer Ron met at the fenceline.

Farmer Don: Do you think it might rain today?

Farmer Ron: Yep.

Farmer Don: I hope so because we sure could use it.

Farmer Ron: Yep.

Farmer Don: You and Maggie going to the lake?

Farmer Ron: Yep.

Farmer Don: I hear they restocked it with bass, should be good fishing.

Farmer Ron: Yep.

Farmer Don: Do you think they'll be bitting?

Farmer Ron: Yep.

Farmer Don: I hope so.

Farmer Ron: Yep.

Farmer Don: I sure do enjoy our talks like this, don't you?

Farmer Ron: Yep.

Five-year-old Francine was so happy to be going to swim lessons at the city pool. She loved her swim instructor and splashing around in the pool. Every night, her dad would tuck her in and hear about her day.

Francine: Guess what, dad?

Dad: What?

Francine: At swimming class, I was an octopus, but my teacher told me I swim so good, now I'm a sardine.

Dad: Wow, Francine that is great! I'm so proud of you! But you don't swim 'good', you swim 'well.'

Francine: Daddy, okay. I love you.  Well night!