Joke Pile #320

 Just back from a road-trip vacation (and boy are my arms tired--from driving).



Roadside Obervations

Airbnb and Vrbo are like when you cross Groupon with a slot machine. You find a wonderful-looking place, put your non-refundable money down, and when you show up, it is fifteen feet off a major highway, next to a halfway house and your host turns out to be a recovering ax-murderer/house flipper.

Convenience Stores are anything but convenient. You need to get a bank loan when you fill up your car. Also, I do not want to hear peppy music while you try to sell me a gallon-sized soft drink for $1.00 on the gas pump TV. 

Highway Rest Areas: Why is one side of the restrooms always "closed for cleaning"?

Olive Garden: What happened to actual food servers?

Harley riders: Do you ever turn off your engines?

Highway Construction: Have you ever considered just working on one side of the road at a time? Also lane closures--drivers, when they say the left lane is going to close in 1 mile, they actually mean it--so, might you consider merging BEFORE when it actually happens?

Nostalgia: Remember the cute little ice cream place in the country that you loved as a kid? It is either a housing subdivision or now has a petting zoo, putt-putt course, batting cage, wedding/events center and a mile-long line to the ice cream. 

Premium Gas: Seriously? What gas isn't being sold at a premium?

EV charge stations: Do you know what would be better than charging a car up? Renting one at the charging station and keep moving.

Car mapping voices: I know your job sucks, but do you have to be so disdainful when I miss a street that you told me would be 400 feet ahead, but was actually 200 feet behind where I was?

Passengers who always have to "go": I don't mind pulling off the road, but every 45 minutes does seem a bit excessive. One word: Depends.

Cute little towns, perfect for a day trip: You're not that cute and far from perfect on a holiday weekend.

Truckers: You have my respect, but why do you put up with the parking lot situation at restaurants, hotels, and rest areas?--I'm willing to bet that when you stop, you have to pee more than the average car driver. Or are you the people who buy the gallon-sized sodas for the "emergency" cup?

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