No Joke - Tribute to Gilbert Gottfried

 

RIP Gilbert Gottfried - Dedicating this to the late Gilbert Gottfried. He had one of the most agile minds and was fearless (some say tactless and profane) in using it. In his own words, he said about himself: "I've always said my career is somewhere between children's programming and hard-core porn." All of the jokes and quotes below are his:

"At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those were the people going, "You know, the air conditioning hits me right on the back on the neck."

"Last night I was having dinner with Charles Manson, and in the middle of dinner he turned to me and said, "Is it hot in here, or am I crazy?""

"A man goes to the doctor for a check, and the doctor exams him and says "I've got bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimers." The man goes "Thank god I don't have cancer.""

"I always felt bad for Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa lived a whole life helping starving children and dying villages, but she could never be declared a saint 'cause she never actually performed a miracle. And it was towards the end, she was desperate to perform a miracle, so she would go up to starving children and go, 'What's that behind your ear? It's a quarter!'

"I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old picture of two masks. One mask is tragedy. It looks like it's crying. The other mask is comedy. It looks like it's laughing. Nowadays, we would say, "How tasteless and insensitive. A comedy mask is laughing at a tragedy mask.""