Joke Pile #287

 Friday Funnies

My near-sighted wife brought me shampoo when I was washing my hair in the sink. However, when I applied it, my scalp began immediately burning. I looked at the shampoo bottle and it was hand sanitizer. I said to my wife, "How did you confuse hand sanitizer with shampoo?" She said, "I didn't have my glasses on and thought it said 'hair sanitizer'."

We have construction workers on our block putting in a new bridge over a creek. Every day at 7:20, they begin pounding away making us and the neighbors very unhappy. If this were a song, it would be called "Trouble Over Bridged Water."

My dog gets up every night around one o'clock and barks. So, every night I get up and let her out, give her a treat, and send her back to bed. Afterward, I wonder if my dog could talk, would she say "Now who's a good human? You're a good human."

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