Things I Think I Thought (According to Buddha, I'm in serious trouble)
You know those stations where trucks have to stop and have their cargo weighed? I think when they are open the sign should just read "weigh" and when it is closed "no weigh."
Baking soda in communist Russia might have been called "Sickle & Hammer Baking Soda."
Playground equipment = Tetter Totter; Playground equipment after maintenance = Teeter Tauter;
Playground equipment when a kid jumps off to make a point to his girlfriend = Teeter, Taught Her!
I had a nightmare involving Swiss cheese. It was a holey terror.
If you lose one of your pom-poms, do you just have a pom?
I think bees think it's gross that we put their sweet barfy secretions in our tea.
I thought about this long and hard--a day-old baguette.
If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, then the road to heaven must be paved with the bad ones
I think Alice Cooper should change the title of the song "I'm Eighteen" to "I'm Seventy Four"--you know, truth in advertising.
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