St. Patrick's Day Edition
A man sees a rainbow whose end falls on the large estate of a millionaire. Being St. Patrick's Day, the man follows the rainbow and seeing that no one appears to be around, goes over the fence. All of a sudden, German Shepards appear out of nowhere and chase the man. Luckily, a rabbit runs by and the dogs take off after it. As he tiptoes around to the back he, see the rainbow's end that seems to be in the house. Quietly, he peers through a window and the man sees all the colors of the rainbow emanating. It is a guest bathroom and he sees a leprechaun sitting on what appears to be a golden toilet. "Just my luck," the man says, "I thought I found a pot of gold and it turns out to be a golden potty."
Fred was the last snake in Ireland. St. Patrick had driven all the others out, but not Fred. Sally the snail was puzzled by this and she asked Fred, "How is it that St. Patrick drove all the other snakes out, but not you?" Fred said, "You know it is good manners to say "please" when you want someone else to do something for you." "Oh, I'm sorry," Sally said, "Please tell me why you are the only snake that St. Patrick did not drive out of Ireland." Fred said, "No, I told him, 'You know it is good manners to say "please" when you want someone else to do something for you. And he never said "please.""
Sam was an American visiting the city of Cork in Ireland for the first time and was curious about the origins of the Blarney Stone. He went into the local pub and sat at the bar. He noticed an older gent and figured why not ask him?
"Hi, my name is Sam and I'm from America."
The older man replied, "I'm Seamus."
"Seamus, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"No Sam, fire away."
"How did the Blarney Stone come to be?"
"Well, if you buy me a Guinness, I'll tell ya."
So Sam buys Seamus a Guinness and Seamus says, "A long time ago, all the earth was called blarney. The shoil was called blarney, the mud was called blarney, even the clay was called blarney. But, the gods decided that everything could not be called the shame thing, so they decides that only the rocks and stones could be called blarney. And that is how the Blarney Stone came to be."
"Well, that's quite a story. Out of curiosity, what did the Gods end up calling the soil and the mud and the clay?" Sam asked.
"Ah, for that you'll need to buy me another Guinness," said Seamus.
So Sam buys Seamus another Guinness and Seamus says, "The Gods they called the shoil, the mud, and the clay and everything else shite."
"Shite? Isn't that what you all call..."
Seamus cut him off, "That's right Sham, they called it that because it is all sho beautiful, Ireland is a shite for shore eyes!"
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