What kind of books does Santa read in his leisure time? Elf-help books.
What do you call it when you wish for something for Christmas and you get it? Claus and effect.
What do get when you cross a Xmas wreath with eating too much at the holidays? A holly, jowly Christmas.
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For adults only (not santa-ized):
Santa walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey Santa, how do you know whether a person has been naughty or nice?"
Santa says, "Ho, ho, ho, strip down to your shorts and I'll tell you."
"A little weird, but sure" and the bartender strips down into his shorts.
Santa says, "Ho, ho, ho. Now, take off your shirt and drop your shorts."
The bartender takes off his shirt and drops his shorts, but modestly faces away from Santa.
"Ho, ho, ho. Naughty, naughty," says Santa.
The naked bartender then turns and faces Santa (in all his full glory).
"Ho, ho, ho. You are naughty and,
looking appraisingly at the bartender's south pole, VERY nice," says Santa.
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