The Joke's Ennui

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Joke #191

on November 17, 2021

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What do you call an old hockey player who sees his own shadow? Pucksatawney Phil Esposito.

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Joke Pile #428

I've got 99 problems but #22 is not one of them...Things I think I thought. I think I thought that if an opposing team wanted to make it hard for Caitlin Clark to score, they'd move the logos on their court out into the parking lot. I think I thought is there ever a right tree to be barking up? I think I thought that if you put archways in your yard randomly, it is arbor-trary. I think I thought I had a dream where I drowned in a sea of bad jokes. Of course, when I woke up with my dyslexia, I thought I was a groaner. I think I thought that for hope to spring eternally, she'd have to spring in a weightless state. I think I thought that going out on a limb for a friend was always better than going out on the ledge. I think I thought that objects in rearview mirrors may appear smaller because, from a distance, they are. I think I thought that almond bark was worse than its bite. I think I thought that soft-housing is much nicer than rough-housing. I think I thought that if yo...

Joke Pile #421

Happy New Year. It is 2024 and there is an even chance it will be a good one, especially after the odd 2023. Here are the things I think I thought about 2023 and some new things I think I think about 2024. I think I thought that Taylor and Travis should just get a private luxury box already. I thought that the Golden Bachelor was a better name than "Bitter Old Man". I thought that Congress should have had its pay docked for the lack of work it did. I think that Anderson and Andy are one of the best ways to bring in the New Year. The best way is with the TV off. I think that people who bring in the New Year with fireworks should have to set them off inside their homes, so they know how it sounds inside mine. I think I thought that Caitlin Clark couldn't be any better than she was last year. Then Caitlin said, "hold my Gatorade." I think that if the best we can do is a couple of old dudes duking it out for president, we should get to choose which old dudes they ...

Joke Pile #452

(Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce image Generated by OpenAI) Groaner of the Week: As a lot of independently-minded people do, I like the fall. After all, it is the most autumn-mous season. Bonus Groaner: The little hammer with a bad attitude was mallet-adjusted. It's News To Me JD Vance and Tim Walz squared off in the Vice-Presidential Debate. Spokesperson Lindsay Pugh for CBS who hosted the poorly-watched debate said, "Where were Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce when we needed them?" Hurricane Helene caused so much widespread damage that FEMA instituted the Pottery Barn "you break it, you bought it policy on the hurricane to pay for the damage. A woman in Pennsylvania was asked what she thought about the presidential ca...

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Joke #191

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