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Joke #191

on November 17, 2021

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What do you call an old hockey player who sees his own shadow? Pucksatawney Phil Esposito.

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Joke Pile #428

I've got 99 problems but #22 is not one of them...Things I think I thought. I think I thought that if an opposing team wanted to make it hard for Caitlin Clark to score, they'd move the logos on their court out into the parking lot. I think I thought is there ever a right tree to be barking up? I think I thought that if you put archways in your yard randomly, it is arbor-trary. I think I thought I had a dream where I drowned in a sea of bad jokes. Of course, when I woke up with my dyslexia, I thought I was a groaner. I think I thought that for hope to spring eternally, she'd have to spring in a weightless state. I think I thought that going out on a limb for a friend was always better than going out on the ledge. I think I thought that objects in rearview mirrors may appear smaller because, from a distance, they are. I think I thought that almond bark was worse than its bite. I think I thought that soft-housing is much nicer than rough-housing. I think I thought that if yo

Joke Pile #414

Things I think I thought: I think that a werewolf is more "a-were" than it gets credit for. I think a "Yesvember" is more positive than November. I think whoever said "the sky's the limit" never looked down. I thought that I was almost caught up in an endless cycle, endless cycle, endless cycle--until now. I think that the odds are against us but the evens think we're pretty cool. I think that the study of the high-strung could also be referred to as a tautology. I don't thing I could live in limbo, no matter how low I go. I think that dancers' navels should be called ballet buttons. I thought love was only true in fairy tales, but Neil Diamond thought of it first. Something dawned on me, I think it was the sun. I think all trees have their limb-itations. I thought feeding the birds was good, but now I think I'm just enabling them. I think a prayer circle is fine, but a prayer tetrahedron might be harder to pull off. I think seeing and

Joke Pile #421

Happy New Year. It is 2024 and there is an even chance it will be a good one, especially after the odd 2023. Here are the things I think I thought about 2023 and some new things I think I think about 2024. I think I thought that Taylor and Travis should just get a private luxury box already. I thought that the Golden Bachelor was a better name than "Bitter Old Man". I thought that Congress should have had its pay docked for the lack of work it did. I think that Anderson and Andy are one of the best ways to bring in the New Year. The best way is with the TV off. I think that people who bring in the New Year with fireworks should have to set them off inside their homes, so they know how it sounds inside mine. I think I thought that Caitlin Clark couldn't be any better than she was last year. Then Caitlin said, "hold my Gatorade." I think that if the best we can do is a couple of old dudes duking it out for president, we should get to choose which old dudes they

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Joke #191

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