Today's theme age:I turned 60 yesterday. That's five dozen in doughnut years.
I was told that 60 is the new 50. That explains why I look like Ulysses S. Grant.
I am getting up there. I noticed they are making repairs to the cracks on the bridge to the 21st century.
They say that age is nothing but a number. An ever-increasing, highly-depressing number.
It's great to celebrate your birthday with your friends. However, when one of them leans over and says, "now remind me, is this your birthday or a wake?"--well, you know.
You are getting older when you say, "You know, I wasn't born yesterday" and the other person says, "it is abundantly clear that is not the case."
When you are young, you look forward to being old enough to drink until you're drooling drunk and unconscious. When you are older, you hope when you drink that you are not unconsciously drooling.
The other day, I got an AARP card. It was in the wallet of the old-timer I pick-pocketed.
You know you are getting older and you look forward to a prostate exam--just to get some action.
The other day I was gazing longingly at my wife. I thought, "She is still as beautiful as I remember. I am a lucky guy! Her beautiful hair, her lovely smile, I'm a lucky guy!" Then she came up behind me and asked who I was staring at... I really need to go see the eye doctor.
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